Friday, September 16, 2005

Why I decided to be a STAYER!

2 days ago, I woke up in the middle of the night suddenly remembering the enjoyable time, I had in my last vacation in Australia. Spontaneous thoughts about migrating there for a better life started to corrupt my mind. I quickly grab a copy of the Straits Times and started reading all the good news about Singapore to banish those thoughts. However, that copy of Straits Times did not work, because it didn't contain any Chua Mui Hoong articles. I frantically searched through my pile of old news papers but ...Goddamnit the karang guni man came yesterday and I sold off the priceless collection for $1. I tried to get my brains bombarded and irradiated by the state TV to eliminate those cancerous thoughts but it was so late at night they were showing only the test pattern - ooops damn it those thoughts of cool weather, friendly people, beautiful scenery and freedom of speech start to grow stronger in my mind.
I calm myself against those 'quitter' thoughts and made a list of why it is worthwhile to stay in Singapore:
1. I will never get to meet so many foreigners if I migrate to Austrailia - if I see them in Australia, they are probably tourists and are not there to work and contribute to the country.
2. If I go, I will begin to miss the HDB flats I stay in, they are very small and easy to clean. If I go to Australia my house will be so big, I will tire myself out cleaning it!
3. I will miss the MRT & Buses. If I migrate, I'll probably have to buy a car because the public transport there is not as good. Instead of having someone drive me to my destination, I will have to drive myself around, how tiring.
4. If I migrate to another country, I'll be lost because the govt there does not tell me what to do unlike the Singapore govt.
5. There will be no NS and reservist to provide me with a break from work and forced exercise.
6. I might be given welfare when I'm out of job, that might make me lazy.
7. I might have to vote. For the past 35 years in Singapore, I never have to vote.
8. The hospitals are not crowded by dengue patients, it might be a lonely experience if I get sick and warded.
9. The govt ministers are paid only a fraction of what PAP ministers, how can I trust them with my future.
10. They allow people to protest, what happen if they do it on the street while I'm driving, I might be caught in a jam and be late.
11. Their newspapers don't give the same views as the govt, that might tire my mind trying to resolve the inconsistency.
12. I'll miss the Straits Times and Chua Mui Hoong articles.
13. I'll not get to buy pirated software.
14. I'll miss all the great govt companies like NTUC, HDB, PUB, SingTel, etc.
15. I'll miss those sensational murder stories of foreigners getting chopped to pieces and body parts left all over Singapore.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

good on ya! you've successfully banished those evil thoughts of quitting our beloved homeland.

Anonymous said...

Majulah Singapura!

Anonymous said...

yeah..makes so much sense when "he" labels those quitters with one hand while inviting "foreign quitters" with the other..LMAO!...

Anonymous said...

yeah..makes so much sense when "he" labels those quitters with one hand while inviting "foreign quitters" with the other..LMAO!...

Anonymous said...

Just a sidenote: the chances of buying a pirated software in Singapore is at its lowest le... So i beg with you that you can still find a shop in singapore selling pirated software =)

Anonymous said...

hey, he left out some good points:

1. there are few/no earthquakes, hail, snowstorm, avalannce, mudslide, flood, tsunami and twisters in singapore

2. You still get to eat half boiled eggs with kopi around here. although the quality is getting lousier nowadays

3. you can sit on a warm toilet seat instead of an icy-cold one. which sucks in my opinion

4. you get great security and can stay in neighbourhoods with few/no drug addicts, and little chance of being mugged on the way back from work.

5. you get money for making babies, which isnt true for most of australians

i could think a few more, but im tired.

pleinelune said...

And not to mention, come every election, you get to have to your mind made up for you! No need to spend time and energy voting!

Tym said...

16. In other countries, I might be exposed to all those "alternative lifestyles" and I would have to grapple with the idea that homosexuals are people too. Instead, in Singapore I know our Asian Values will be protected.

Pkchukiss said...

hey, he left out some good points:

1. there are few/no earthquakes, hail, snowstorm, avalannce, mudslide, flood, tsunami and twisters in singapore

2. You still get to eat half boiled eggs with kopi around here. although the quality is getting lousier nowadays

3. you can sit on a warm toilet seat instead of an icy-cold one. which sucks in my opinion

4. you get great security and can stay in neighbourhoods with few/no drug addicts, and little chance of being mugged on the way back from work.

5. you get money for making babies, which isnt true for most of australians

i could think a few more, but im tired.


I think anonymous has missed the sarcasm entirely.

SGtouristinOz said...

Nice one ! You're making me miss home already ! I especially miss having a day off for pretending that I have to vote.

Anonymous said...

Next year National Day Speech,LHL sure mention about your blog:)

Anonymous said...

u r like a typical stupid singaporean..... but i suppose u r entitled to your own form of parochialism....u have eyes but u do not see....being stupid is not patriotic...it only makes u look stupid & nothing else....

Lao Xin Zhou said...

To this annoymous above:

He is making truth about Singapore. If you claimed he is stupid, give a proof to show that.

If not, you are more of stupidity and idiotic!

Anonymous said...

Anon 20/3/06 23:12,

It's very obvious from Lucky's tone that he was being sarcastic.