Wednesday, January 18, 2006

IMF Protesters face jail in Singapore!

These IMF / World Bank protesters think they can just take a plane fly to Singapore and protests for their causes like they do in any other country......they are terribly mistaken! Singapore is no ordinary country. It is a lawful orderly country that has RULES. Although these foreigners have not been through our education system, they cannot be excused from obeying our rules. ....according to our Minister of Home Affairs Wong Kan Seng.

These protesters are expected to fly in a few weeks early to apply for permits to conduct their protests. A farmer from, say Korea, has to go down to our Home Affairs Ministry ask for the permit forms and fill out the how where, how, who, when, why of his protest. Then our highly qualified civil servants will take his application consider it for a few weeks to see if there are any "Law and Order" issues as well as the suitability of the location. If the permit is approved, the protester will be told the rules he has to follow:

1. Only a maximum of 4 people are allowed so don't call your whole village or kampung to come otherwise the SAF will be activated.

2. You are not allowed to set yourself on fire during the protests because you can potentially damage public property such as trees or park benches while you're on fire.

3. You're not allowed to stab yourself during the protests. If you do, make sure you clean up, otherwise you can be fined for littering in Singapore.

4. You are not allowed to use Singlish during protests so that people are clear you're not a Singaporean and your complaints has nothing to do with Singapore.

5. You're not to set any cars on fire during your protest. While cars may be cheap back home, here in Singapore they cost a fortune.

6. Your protest must not be located near a shopping center as you're not allowed to disrupt Singaporean's favorite past-time.

While protesting be mindful of Singapore's defamation and slander laws. Get a lawyer to double check your posters to avoid the defamation lawsuit.

One last tip for foreign protesters, if Singaporeans look at you like you just landed from outer space, please forgive them, they have probably have never seen a real life protest before.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I suggest the police can approve the application, for the protest to be stage in.....Lim Chu Kang

Anonymous said...

lol so many rules and regulations whats the point of protesting?

Anonymous said...

well.. i'd realli hope to see some REAL protest. :) afterall, really.. how many of us would ever bother to stage a protest even if one day bus fares are raised to cabby fares at $2.40a pop?

Anonymous said...

great job! I luv yur entries. Much more better than what some-other person who has thousands of views per day but yet wouldn't come clean abt impersonating another fellow.

Anonymous said...

great entries... the tone and style is perfect... subversive but thought-provoking...
i hope you get more readers...

honestly speaking though, i don't think there is hope for singapore... even if we are a sociologist's wet dream... after all, we are perfect specimen to demonstrate how you can run a society like a machine except for that one small problem: we are made up of human beings.

Yes, it's true that people can be manipulated, cajoled, directed, managed, and made to go down a united pathway but at some point (living in a global village), the realisation that "what you have always known" is not "how it has to be" will start to gnaw away at you...

unfortunately, i don't think Singaporeans have much fight in them. they are too busy struggling to survive and trying to hold on or expand their way of life as dictated by the prevailing consumerism...

Anonymous said...

"IMF Protesters Face Jail In Singapore"

another great entry!... hilarious but painfully so when you realise the implications.

gaylegoh said...

You're hilarious, I love this place :)

Anonymous said...

curious about Singapore. so,if Singaporeans want to protest about the need to get a permit to protest...would getting a permit sort of defeat the purpose of the protest? and, if they applied for the permit, would it drive the civil officials insane due to the obscurity of the matter in their hands?