I thought it should sound like this:
I want to thank the police for letting me off with a stern warning. I'm appreciative because criminal intimidation through wagging a finger and harsh words is a jailable offence in Singapore. I understand my actions has cause terrible distress to the civil servants whose greatest agony in life until that day was deciding where to go for holidays at the end of year. My finger wagging must have shocked them terribly.
I would like to thank the MM for only calling me a liar and making me look dishonest....because he called Chee all that plus gangster, fraud and cheat. MM Lee has been so kind to give me such a big discount. He is so gracious and is a true asset to this 1st world govt.
I would like to thank Wong Kan Seng for showing that video of me so many times. I know I look good, but the security camera distorted my face because of its position. May I suggest that it be relocated to shoot from eye level.
I would like to thank the Elections Dept for NOT losing my applications form. I know that simple things like a receipt or acknowledgement or reminders are too much to ask but still I suggest that instead of using the camera to verify every time there is a dispute. I would like to suggest that the Elections Dept issue Minority Certificate that don't expire. I know that some people try to change their race through genetic skin alteration, but I promise not to do it in my lifetime.
Most of all I would like to thank all the Singaporeans who attended my rally. Although I spoke from the stage, I was not stage acting. I have spent half my life time studying the issues that concern Singaporeans like the 'new poor' and declining quality of life. I was hoping to represent you in parliament but 56% of Aljunied residents prefer upgrading to having a real representative in parliament. I will not harbour any ill feelings against them, it is their democratic right to vote for the blue multicolored dolphin fountain that the PAP promised them. I hope they spend many hours looking at it and let their frustrations with rising cost of living melt away as the multicolored lights mesmerise them.
Good bye. I have to go to Sweden now to meet up with my SISSY (Sweden Intimidation Secret Society for Youths) friends.