New way to report tragic MRT incidents!

That leaked video of the man killing himself has given thousands of Singaporeans nightmares. Since it was put on youtube, it has undermined our rebranding campaign which paints Singapore as a fun & hip city. We, Singaporeans cannot let this small matter of people wanting to take short-cuts to heaven, disrupt our happy lucky lives. I'm sure you will agree with the new way such incidents are reported in our media these days:

---------- Newspaper article -----------

SMRT TRAIN DISRUPTION
March 3, 2007
AROUND 2,900 commuters were stranded yesterday afternoon as train services between the Admiralty and Kranji MRT stations were disrupted for about 45 minutes.
Bridging bus services were deployed to ferry the passengers to Kranji.
Passengers who were unable to complete their journey can claim a full fare refund at the passenger service centre at any SMRT station.
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I think this is great! After many iterations, they have found the right way to report this type of tragic news.

First version : Man committed Suicide at MRT crushed by train.
2nd Version : Man jumps onto MRT track and is hit by oncoming train.
3rd version : Man falls onto the MRT track and is hit by train.
4th version: Man hit by train at MRT station.
5th Version : Trains services disrupted at MRT.
6th Version: Trains services delayed at MRT.
7th Version: Slight delay, sorry for the inconvenience caused.
8th Version: Free bus and refund available during minor MRT disruption.

We should apply the same style of writing when we talk about poor and sick Singaporeans. For all you know, the reporters will be able to solve the poverty problem .....Singaporeans are so lucky to have such great media that always strive towards making them happier and making the problems of our society disappear....I think we are going to reach top 1st world standard very soon.