Wednesday, October 15, 2008

CPF the ultimate structured product.....

Oh my...if Lim Swee Say ever retires from his minister job, he will definitely be able to find a job as an RM selling interesting products at the bank. His Singlish is really an big advantage ...who ever listens to him can only trust that he knows what he is talking about.

"Every month when I get my CPF statement, I feel so rich...." - Lim Swee Say.

"Sir, you don't need your CPF to feel rich. All you need to do is peek into your bank account"- Lucky Tan.

CPF : -

Return : 2.5%.

Capital Guaranteed : Yes.

Early Withdrawal Penalty : Your Singapore citizenship

Reference Entity: GIC.

Maturity : 65 years of age and rising.

Your CPF money is loaned to GIC at an interest of 2.5%. GIC invests this money around the world and recently they took a liking to western banks. Your money is safe as long as GIC is safe. GIC is safe as long as its investments are safe. GIC's investments are safe as long as there is no once in a century global meltdown that causes securities to plunge in value. I guess Lim Swee Say is smiling because there is no such thing as a monthly CPF statement and he probably doesn't know how much he has in his CPF because it is pocket change for a person with his salary. He makes in 2 months ($300K?) what many Singaporeans take a lifetime to accumulate in their CPF.

Recession is here and Minister Lim who is also NTUC chief will soon be very busy telling workers that times are hard and sacrifices will be needed to keep our economy afloat. Cutting employers' CPF contribution is always an option to save the economy.....I hope when that time comes he remembers what he said about the CPF.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

I just wish more and more peoples' eyss and ears in this island of ours be open....

Anonymous said...

Lucky, you forgot one more thing.

Mr Lim will soon come out and say that in times of recession, we need to upgrade ourselves, learn new skills, and learn to compete with the foreign talents.

sc said...

surely those who laughed is laughing at him and not with him! OMG I felt embarrassed already!

Alex said...

My goodness.

Cut him some slack though lol.

Anonymous said...

Hi, the guy in the video could smile as he talked knowing that many people had lost their savings. He ought to step down and apologise for being insensitive.

Anyway, just a side track (or maybe I am going nuts), the iconic face of Lucky Tan looks a bit like Lim Sweet Say. (shoot me...)

Anonymous said...

Why cut him slack?

Cut his salary though!! No?
The salary is already adjusted in the last two years upwards to meet inflation and the coming recession!!

Better still , hand this man the PINK SLIP in 2011 !!!
He doesn't talk with his brain, hahahahaha!!

Anonymous said...

If you dun know any better, you might take him as one of the members of the Jack Neo gang.

Are singaporeans for real to pay this chap millions?!

Anonymous said...

Lucky,

I enjoy your writings. Keep it up.

Robert HO nric S0197974D said...

RH:
1. The CPF is also the ultimate pyramid scheme.

2. As long as there are newcomers into the scheme whose ~35% of salary can be deducted for the good of the LIEgime, then the LIEgime has enough to pay out to those old enough to withdraw. But the strains are clearly evident as the money isnt enough to pay out due to stupid investment losses in the billions and the unWarren Buffet stupidity of LIE KY and his daughter in law 'investments' that are mostly favours and patronage in return for Royal Treatment wherever they go. This is why the withdrawal age keeps being pushed back -- because the postwar baby boomers like me are withdrawing en masse and there is no money. If we are allowed to withdraw, LIE KYs GIC SWF shrinks to nothing and he has no clout left to extract Royal Treatment.

3. So the only way is to keep roping in bodies to keep the pyramid scheme going and this means massive imports of foreigners leading to the staggering >1 in 4 of people on this tiny islet being foreigners.

4. See? When you are as stupid as LIE KY, and as despotic, you can easily solve problems. Meanwhile, the overcrowding continues, in buses, trains, malls, eating places, even living quarters complained and protested by the Serangoonites...

Anonymous said...

Remember GST is to help the poor.

Soon there will be more poor people, expect GST to increase to 10% to help more poor people.

Anonymous said...

I cannot find words to describe him... REALLY DESPICABLE... PUUUI

Anonymous said...

Lucky, I hate to point this out to you. Now we hear all the valid arguments and frustration people are feeling on being marginalised by the ruling elite but as it has always been, these very people who are complaining now will be the very ones who will take a few hundred dollars and drop the pants and bend over the get screwed all over again. After so many years I have realised that having absolute power depends on several factor and as far as our people are concerned the main factor is not fear but stupidity.

Clear eyed said...

Lucky, I don't quite agree with you. The guy will make only a passable RM. I've met many RMs who speak and present themselves and their products much much better. I think his talent lies more in pushing sales of stuff like wonder mops, miracle detergents, knives that don't need sharpening, etc in the pasar malam.

Anonymous said...

The video chip was taken off you tube! Anyway, I could watch it?