Have been very busy these few days so I haven't had time to blog. I will continue to be busy until the middle of next week, Things should go back to normal for me towards the end of next week.
Tiger Woods, Jack Neo, a Malaysian minister and an American president.....
When I just started working, I socialised a lot more than I do now. At a barbeque organised by a friend where many people turned up and a small group of us started discussing about short trip to KL- we decided travel cheap to KL taking a bus from JB instead of booking a bus from Singapore. There were 5 of us - 2 guys and 3 girls. I went because I had nothing else better to do for that weekend. I hardly knew the people I was going with because I met some of them for the 1st time at the barbeque. When we got to KL, one of the girls requested for her own room while the guys shared one room and the other girls shared another. We found out later that the girl wanted her own room because she was meeting her lover, a married businessman. The next day the businessman joined us for breakfast - he probably assumed since we were all strangers and won't rat on him. Other than the fact that he was cheating on his wife, he was a like any other guy - friendly, confident and courteous. While it is considered wrong and immoral to cheat on your spouse or girlfriend, over time I realised this behavior is more widespread that most people think. Singaporeans don't like to rat on other people's private life - notice how the other parts of Jack Neo's scandal popped out in quick succession only after his 22 yr old mistress spilled the beans on him - many were helping him to keep things secret for a long time. Why do people cheat on their spouse when it so damaging if you're found out?
Human beings are polygamous by nature (Polygamy left its mark on the human genome). It was a matter of survival in the past when living conditions were extremely harsh. Genetically, you're better off "sowing your wild oats" than forming stable families. However, as we become more civilised and organised as a society, and learn to overcome the forces of nature, this behavior became unnecessary and incompatible with the social structures that evolved over time. To repress this behavior, laws, religion and social norms (morality) were imposed on the people. Many find it hard to overcome this behavior pre-programmed in our genes despite the fear of being found out, promises to their spouses and damage to their reputation. Take Bill Clinton as an example. Here is a guy who had everything going for him and plenty of political enemies waiting for one mistake to tear him down - yet he couldn't overcome his 'lust' and nearly destroyed his presidency.
40 years ago, perhaps it was easier to constrain human behavior - movies were sexually tame, no Internet, no social networks, and fewer bad role models. Today, Hollywood actors, sports heros, and playboy billionaires have taken over as role models for many of our youths. This is counter-balanced by rising religiosity- the emergence of megachurches....Jack Neo was with his pastor when the scandal broke, Tiger Woods spoke about returning to his Buddhist roots. For the successful who have more than provided for their family, it becomes harder to resist infidelity given they have time, money and easy women who are attracted to their success. However, infidelity is bad for our society as causes families to break up and broken homes lead to problematic childhoods for the kids[Broken homes, broken children?]. We are always disappointed when famous people held up as role models are found to be less than perfect. While we have the right to be upset given we have been sold a deceptive unreal facade of the actual character, we also have to ask ourselves if why we have formed unrealistic expectations knowing that famous people today manage their public image with professional PR and spin. Jack Neo was wrong to cheat on his wife and will pay for it with his reputation and he will be painfully humiliated and prosecuted by the media. We should not condemn him without mercy ...and although I'm not a Christian, there wisdom in these words from the bible : "Let those without sin cast the first stone". We are all imperfect in our own way ....as for Jack Neo's transgressions, his wife and children are the only ones who needs to forgive him.